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Entries Tagged as 'communication'

Jedi Mind Tricks

April 16th, 2017 · Comments

Are you a Star Wars fan? The new trailer is out for the 2017 movie, and it's a good time to think about Jedi mind tricks. Is there a process that you could use in real life to get other people to do stuff with less resistance and better results?

Learn how the Jedi:

  • develop a mindful presence that allows them to read their environment through what is changing in themselves
  • connect their big picture "what I want my life to mean" to their small, defined asks
  • offer their full attention to the connection they need to make to get results
  • describe what they want in sensory tangible detail

If you're not getting results you like when you ask other people to do stuff, listen and then check your process against this process. If you don't have the power to make people do things and you can't argue them into doing them, it's time for a different approach.

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Tags: language · communication · leading · focus

Banish distraction through small wins

August 10th, 2016 · Comments

When there's too much in your head, too much going on inside you and around you, it's time for a little will power. You don't need to build barriers or use force. You just need to step back and ask "what's the one thing I want to do right now?" And then, when you know what to do, ask yourself "what state will support me in accomplishing just this one thing?" The way to trigger that state is to look for tiny changes you can make in yourself, your actions or your surroundings. Each change that begins to create the desired state is a small win. A series of these small wins leads to the state, which leads to accomplishing the goal. And as soon as you have, you can ask yourself again, "so what is the one thing I want next?"

When you repeat this process,  your day becomes a series of the small wins that lead to big satisfaction.
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Tags: communication · calm · focus

Suggestions can be more powerful than commands

July 22nd, 2016 · Comments

Listen to this episode to discover how easily you are led to accept ideas that come from a trusted source in a relationship you value. Whether you are making or taking suggestions, it's appropriate to also take a deep breath and ask yourself: is this really what I want? how much of this motivation is a desire to stay connected? what else do I want now?

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Tags: Uncategorized · Trance · communication · framing

Spot the frames when someone else is speaking or writing

June 24th, 2016 · Comments

Take ten minutes to get better at noticing the structure which is setting you up to interpret a communication in a particular way. Structure is inevitable: it's how language works. When a structure is embedded into a communication, it is as hard to notice as the bone structure of a human being. You might not think about it consciously, but you notice the shape it gives your thinking and you use it to interpret the details.

This is a simple (but not easy) three step method for getting better at spotting frames in communication that you hear or read. Following this process will make you quicker to see the implications or consequences of buying into what someone is saying and it will give you more choices about how to interpret the information being shaped by the frames.

Photo credit: Les Chatfield, https://www.flickr.com/photos/elsie/

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Tags: communication · framing

“If I were you” what would change in me?

May 6th, 2016 · Comments

When we hear someone begin a sentence with "if I were you," our first response is often to think (or say!) "Well, you're not me."  The problem is that people often don't try to understand what it is like to be us: they just imagine themselves in our situation with all of their history, their connections, their skills and their biases.

Here are three ways to check whether you are making a useful attempt to imagine the world as another person is experiencing it:
  1. has your physiology shifted to match their posture, gestures and expressions?
  2. has your language shifted to take on their choice of words, phrasing, rhythms and sounds?
  3. are you seeing yourself in the picture (in the way that they can see you?)
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Tags: communication · perception

Use the language of full engagement

January 4th, 2016 · Comments

In 5 minutes, you'll understand metaphor than you ever understood it in high school. Metaphor isn't just a concept from literature: it's the language of full engagement, the language that uses the most of your brain and reaches out to activate the most of someone else's brain/body/mind system. Using it better consciously takes a little time. It's like making change in the way you walk or pronounce words or breathe. You use metaphor so naturally, it's hard to change. The rewards for changing make it worth the effort. You'll become better at understanding your own thinking and changing other people's.

Learn more at www.nlpcanada.com (where you can download our free ebook on Fully Engaged living).
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Tags: Fresh Thinking · communication · metaphor

A brief exercise to settle the monkeys in your mind so you can focus and work

October 20th, 2015 · Comments

When the Buddhists call it "monkey mind" they mean that the ideas, emotions, memories, passions and connections in your head act like a troop of monkeys, bouncing, climbing, feeding, interacting and making mischief. Use this brief exercise to help your monkeys settle into connection and prepare to work together.

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Tags: Trance · Focus · nlp · communication

From Monkeys to Miracles: How Language Works

October 6th, 2015 · Comments

I'd really love you to be part of our symposium in Toronto on October 17. But even if you can't, this introduction will get you thinking differently about how our monkey minds resist the clarity of language, and how we sometimes achieve the miracle of communication anyway. Leading Words is going to be a day that transforms the way people think about time, energy, words and a life well-lived. You'll meet interesting people, share stories of courage and creativity, and engage in conversations that mean something. October 17, Toronto, Ontario, http://bit.ly/leadingwords

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Tags: Fresh Thinking · language · communication

We are wired for connection, and our wires get crossed

September 21st, 2015 · Comments

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you know the right thing when you hear it or do you just know it?  Understanding your personality might be less helpful than understanding how all human brain/mind/body systems are wired. 

It's complicated. On the one hand, humans are pack animals who have highly sophisticated, complex internal systems for reading each other's expressions, getting into sync, and collaborating. On the other, each human being has a distinct sense of themselves as individual. The voice in your head tells you that what you want matters because you are the only "you" on the planet. The wiring in your brain wants to sync with the wants of the people around you.  It's noisy in there.
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Tags: Fresh Thinking · Focus · communication

So You Want More Control?

September 10th, 2015 · Comments

Welcome back after a summer break. Today's episode is about how to get more control: control of yourself, control of your situation, control of what other people will do or notice.

The person with the best choices has the most control. Learn how to change your thinking so you have better choices available to you.
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Tags: Fresh Thinking · Focus · communication