We are wired for connection, and our wires get crossed

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you know the right thing when you hear it or do you just know it?  Understanding your personality might be less helpful than understanding how all human brain/mind/body systems are wired. 

It's complicated. On the one hand, humans are pack animals who have highly sophisticated, complex internal systems for reading each other's expressions, getting into sync, and collaborating. On the other, each human being has a distinct sense of themselves as individual. The voice in your head tells you that what you want matters because you are the only "you" on the planet. The wiring in your brain wants to sync with the wants of the people around you.  It's noisy in there.