Shifts Work

Spot the frames when someone else is speaking or writing

Take ten minutes to get better at noticing the structure which is setting you up to interpret a communication in a particular way. Structure is inevitable: it's how language works. When a structure is embedded into a communication, it is as hard to notice as the bone structure of a human being. You might not think about it consciously, but you notice the shape it gives your thinking and you use it to interpret the details.

This is a simple (but not easy) three step method for getting better at spotting frames in communication that you hear or read. Following this process will make you quicker to see the implications or consequences of buying into what someone is saying and it will give you more choices about how to interpret the information being shaped by the frames.

Photo credit: Les Chatfield, https://www.flickr.com/photos/elsie/

"If I were you" what would change in me?

When we hear someone begin a sentence with "if I were you," our first response is often to think (or say!) "Well, you're not me."  The problem is that people often don't try to understand what it is like to be us: they just imagine themselves in our situation with all of their history, their connections, their skills and their biases.

Here are three ways to check whether you are making a useful attempt to imagine the world as another person is experiencing it:

1. has your physiology shifted to match their posture, gestures and expressions?
2. has your language shifted to take on their choice of words, phrasing, rhythms and sounds?
3. are you seeing yourself in the picture (in the way that they can see you?)

Use the language of full engagement

In 5 minutes, you'll understand metaphor than you ever understood it in high school. Metaphor isn't just a concept from literature: it's the language of full engagement, the language that uses the most of your brain and reaches out to activate the most of someone else's brain/body/mind system. Using it better consciously takes a little time. It's like making change in the way you walk or pronounce words or breathe. You use metaphor so naturally, it's hard to change. The rewards for changing make it worth the effort. You'll become better at understanding your own thinking and changing other people's.

Learn more at www.nlpcanada.com (where you can download our free ebook on Fully Engaged living).

A brief exercise to settle the monkeys in your mind so you can focus and work

When the Buddhists call it "monkey mind" they mean that the ideas, emotions, memories, passions and connections in your head act like a troop of monkeys, bouncing, climbing, feeding, interacting and making mischief. Use this brief exercise to help your monkeys settle into connection and prepare to work together.

From Monkeys to Miracles: How Language Works

I'd really love you to be part of our symposium in Toronto on October 17. But even if you can't, this introduction will get you thinking differently about how our monkey minds resist the clarity of language, and how we sometimes achieve the miracle of communication anyway. Leading Words is going to be a day that transforms the way people think about time, energy, words and a life well-lived. You'll meet interesting people, share stories of courage and creativity, and engage in conversations that mean something. October 17, Toronto, Ontario, http://bit.ly/leadingwords

We are wired for connection, and our wires get crossed

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you know the right thing when you hear it or do you just know it?  Understanding your personality might be less helpful than understanding how all human brain/mind/body systems are wired. 

It's complicated. On the one hand, humans are pack animals who have highly sophisticated, complex internal systems for reading each other's expressions, getting into sync, and collaborating. On the other, each human being has a distinct sense of themselves as individual. The voice in your head tells you that what you want matters because you are the only "you" on the planet. The wiring in your brain wants to sync with the wants of the people around you.  It's noisy in there.

So You Want More Control?

Welcome back after a summer break. Today's episode is about how to get more control: control of yourself, control of your situation, control of what other people will do or notice.

The person with the best choices has the most control. Learn how to change your thinking so you have better choices available to you.

Music as a model of better conversations

We often talk as though our voice always sings solo. Most of the time, voice is at its best when you make conversation the way musicians make music together. Listen to this, then take another 5 or 6 minutes to listen to a group or quartet playing music you like. Listen as if you were playing one of the parts. Let what you learn guide the way you enter your next conversation.

To find your voice, begin in silence

In this episode, Linda introduces the reasons it is so hard to hear your own voice. Language is always carried by a voice, in writing or in speaking. To find the voice that works best for you, you need to separate your own voice from the voices around you and the voices you carry in your head. When you make space in your life for silence, you can begin to focus on separating out your voice from the contagious voices around you and the voices of influencers that you carry within you.

Do you hate selling? Learn to prepare, engage and mobilize

We call our sales course I Hate to Sell. People who love to sell, who find joy and connection and satisfaction in selling don't need a course. They need to sell. 

Everyone else can benefit from conditioning themselves to follow five steps that engage their best selves in the process of selling to others. Take five minutes and feel energized, motivated and ready for your next sales call.